Our Birth Story

Writing about our birth story is not something I ever really thought about doing. Reflecting back now, when I was pregnant with the twins, I searched and searched for information about twin pregnancy and delivery to help me understand more about the experience. So here I am, sharing both for selfish reasons (I think its super therapeutic to tell your birth story and relive those moments—as I have done multiple times with my therapist) and to help support anyone out there who is wanting to know what other people have experienced.

Finding Out It Was Twins

I guess to start, I will say that I never, in a million years, could have imagined having twins. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother, to have kids, but twins never ever crossed my mind.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited to tell Mike, and so scared for the unknown. I was terrified to be excited until we had true confirmation from a doctor or a blood test that I in fact was pregnant. We booked an appointment with the doctor which turned out to be a bust because they didn’t do any tests, they simply told me, “well, if your boobs hurt, and you peed on a stick and it said positive, you’re probably pregnant”….. NOT helpful.

So, I called Guelph Midwives and explained the situation to them and begged for an ultrasound. I felt like I was holding onto this secret that wasn’t exactly true, but maybe was, and I was constantly telling myself not to get excited.

At 10 weeks, I went to have a dating ultrasound on a Sunday morning at 8:30am, with my husband. In the car ride on the way there, we joked, “imagine it was two” because a pregnancy app that I had downloaded said “if its 2, you’ll find out at your ultrasound” (WHO WRITES THIS?!) We laughed as if it was impossible that something like that could ever happen.

Due to COVID, he had to wait in the car, so I went in to my appointment alone. I explained to the ultrasound tech that this was my first pregnancy and my first ultrasound and I just really wanted to make sure that I was pregnant. I also asked if I would be able to Facetime my husband since he wasn’t allowed to come in. She was so kind and said yes of course, but she would tell me when to Facetime him after she had completed the scan.

We did an external and internal ultrasound, and it felt like it took HOURS of being in a cold room, hearing buttons click, not hearing a word from the ultrasound tech, but definitely hearing Justin Bieber on the radio lol.

FINALLY, the ultrasound tech said, “Okay, I’m going to turn the screen, so you can Facetime your husband.” I called him, and looked at the ultrasound screen through my phone screen and thought, oh that’s weird, I’m seeing double. I then moved my head away from the phone screen and exclaimed, “why does it look like there’s two?! Is it twins?!” and the ultrasound tech said yes. I was laughing and crying all at the same time and we laughed for the entire half an hour car ride home.

Twins, Complications, Things I didn’t know

With twins, comes much information. We had a scheduled zoom call with our midwives after our ultrasound and I let them know during that call that it was twins. They told me that because I was pregnant with twins, I was deemed “high risk” and I could not be under the care of midwives. I was pretty heartbroken because I had imagined my delivery to be holistic and with midwives and I had taken the decision of midwives vs. OB very seriously. I didn’t necessarily think one was better than the other at all, but I did love that midwives provided extra care and support and I wanted to have that experience.

Thankfully, our midwives said that I may be able to have collaborative care in which I saw both the midwives and an OB, to which I said of course!!! They recommended an OB that they work closely with and I booked an appointment to meet with her shortly afterwards. My OB was absolutely wonderful. She was open, honest, and straight to the point which I definitely appreciated because I wanted to know what to expect (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

I was warned by the OB that I would have extra ultrasounds to monitor the babies, and told that I would be delivering in the OR instead of a delivery room because twins were deemed “high risk.” They also highly suggested an epidural because of the increased risk of emergency C-section. I made sure to let her know that I was really trying for a vaginal delivery and she seemed very on board to support that in every way possible.

She also let me know that I would be very uncomfortable by 32 weeks, and that if I had a demanding job, I may want to think about taking a break around that 32 week mark (she was absolutely VERY correct. I was in so much pain at that point and moving around seemed impossible). She also let me know that full term is considered 37 weeks for twins and so that was the goal. If I delivered before 34 weeks, they would not be able to take me at the hospital here in town, I would need to go to a specialized hospital because of the lung development at the babies at that stage.

From this information, my goal was to keep those babies cooking longer than 34 weeks. The babies measured large from the beginning, so much so that my OB was sure that I had gestational diabetes. She sent me for the 3 hour test and it turned out that I did not have gestational diabetes, just extremely large babies (99th percentile).

Labour or not?

Since this was my first pregnancy, there were so many things I felt and experienced that I was unsure about or not prepared for. So many unknowns. Braxton Hicks, for example. These are like contractions, but not real contractions? Talk about confusing. I had Braxton Hicks for basically my entire pregnancy. To the point where, whenever I saw my brother, he would touch my tummy and say, “Is Braxton here?” when it felt hard and tight because even he could tell!

At the end of a pregnancy, it can become SUPER uncomfortable. I had so much Braxton Hicks and there were a few times that I had cramping and pain and wondered if it was labour, but prayed that it wasn’t since it was so early.

At my 32 week ultrasound, I went into a routine ultrasound (extra ultrasounds are common with twins to monitor movement and position), and as I was getting changed, the ultrasound tech told me that I had to wait in the waiting room for my doctor to call me. I was absolutely terrified. She told me that my cervix had shortened more than normal and they needed to contact my OB and have her talk to me, and possibly send me to the hospital. I was alone and terrified. Due to covid, my husband wasn’t allowed to come to any ultrasounds and so I was just beside myself. I waited over an hour with no call from my doctor. Finally, I got ahold of my OB’s receptionist and she said not to worry, to be on a modified bedrest, and to just take it easy, but all should be fine.

This made me feel like I had so many questions and that there were so many unknowns. I was confused, but just decided to lay low and take it easy. I would walk to the end of my driveway and back for my “outing” each day (LOL!) and prayed that the babies would keep cooking and would be healthy.

I’m in Labour.. I think??

The most ironic thing about the day I went into labour is that I ALWAYS said that I just hope the babies aren’t born on my birthday. I don’t want to go into labour on my birthday….

The twins due date was March 20, 2021. We were told that full term for twins could be 37 weeks, so a few weeks prior to march 20. I always predicted we would have valentines day babies, but I just did not want to be in a hospital on my birthday.

So, my birthday came around, I was ABSOLUTELY huge and SO uncomfortable, and we were in a lockdown during the pandemic, so literally nothing was open and you weren’t supposed to leave your house. At this stage of my pregnancy, I was getting up to pee in the night at least 4-5 x a night. I got up that evening/morning at about 2am to pee and I saw a bit of blood. I believe that this was my mucous plug. I woke Mike up and told him, but went back to sleep and tried not to worry. I would call the doctor/midwife in the morning.

When I woke up in the morning, I was still losing my mucous plug. I texted my friend who had just had a baby to ask what hers looked like. I started to freak out a bit. I also started feeling my Braxton Hicks, but more intense (HELLO CONTRACTIONS!) But since it was my first pregnancy, and I had experienced weird feelings before, I didn’t know what to think about it. I thought it was just part of pregnancy. It was still SO early.

My mom took a day off work to come and watch movies with me since that was all I had the energy for. I called her as she was on her way over and told her that I was feeling a lot of pressure and having really bad Braxton Hicks and that I thought maybe they were actually contractions.

I quickly downloaded an app to time my contractions and they were lasting about 1.5-2 minute each and about 2.5-4 minutes apart. I then realized, I was in early labour. I called my midwives and they said that it was early. I was only 33 weeks and these may pass, so to just hang tight. But this didn’t feel right to me. Something felt off, so I called my OB’s office and her receptionist said that she was at the hospital on shift and that I should go in to the hospital to see her and get checked. I felt comfortable with this because I wanted to know what was going on, so Mike and I grabbed our half-packed bags, threw some random stuff in them, and made our way to the hospital.

At this point in time, I had friends coming to the driveway bringing me food and gifts and drinks (I am SO blessed with the most incredible support system!) and I had to tell them, sorry but I think I might be in labour!!! I was freaking out a little.

I mostly thought that we would go in, I would get checked, and then we would come back home. I truly didn’t think the babies could come this early, but I was definitely a little nervous.

Labour, FOR REAL

My husband dropped me off at the security check at the front entrance of the hospital where they sent me up to triage where my OB was. My husband was not allowed to wait in triage with me (COVID RULES), but if I was admitted, then he would be allowed in.

So, I went up to triage, rang the bell, and they told me triage was full so I would have to wait (LOL, just my luck) so I waited in the hallway, by myself, cramping and feeling like SH*T, and also so nervous. My OB (Who is LITERALLY the best OB ever) came out and said that she had made a make-shift space to check me out since all beds were full (she really is the best). So we went into another space, she had a blanket for me, and at that time, I was already 2-3 cm dilated, so she decided to keep me there and check me in.

I called my husband, told him to come on up, and we got checked into a room. This is where things get a little blurry, so forgive me if I jump all over the place a little.

We got checked in on Feb. 3, 2021 at around 3pm. Our nurses were incredible. They gave me a gown, hooked me up to IVs and a catheter and continued to check and monitor the progress of the twins. A few hours in and I was in quite a lot of pain, so they gave me some oral medication that would only last a few hours but would give me relief and would make me a little sleepy. I tried to rest a bit but was also just so anxious, terrified, excited, ALL the feels all at the same time .

At this point, I was also so concerned since we didn’t make it to the 34 week mark. I asked the OB if I was still going to be able to deliver at this hospital, and she said since I was pretty close to 34 weeks, they were going to give me a steroid injection that would stimulate the growth and development of the boys’ lungs, and if they had enough time, they would give 2 shots. This did stress me out quite a bit, but also put me at ease that we wouldn’t need to transfer hospitals at this point in time.

A few hours later and the pain medication did indeed wear off. I was in a lot of pain and had progressed quite a bit. They mentioned that I could have more oral medication but it was getting close to the time that the anesthesiologist would come for my epidural so it would probably be best to wait. I also had kind of always wanted to know what it would feel like, so I thought why not, I might as well wait if its only going to be an hour or so.

*Side note, with twins being deemed a “high risk” pregnancy, they strongly urge you to get an epidural because the chance of a c-section or emergency c-section are quite high. I knew that if they needed to do an emergency c section, I would not want to be knocked out and not experience the birth of our babies, so I definitely agreed to an epidural*

Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist did NOT come within an hour or two.. it was quite a while before she got there, so I breathed through my contractions, tried to relax a little bit and prayed she would get there soon.

At this point, a good friend of ours picked up the birthday cake Mike had ordered for me and dropped it off at the hospital so we ate my birthday cake in the hospital and sent some pieces home with our nurses and OB so we could still celebrate my birthday! (not the way I ever expected, but it was so special)

When the anesthesiologist finally arrived, they gave me some freezing in the form of a needle in my back that did not work… so they gave another.. and another (and these needles HURT). Finally I was frozen enough to have the epidural. This was the most painful part of my birth experience, because they missed the epidural and could not get it in. My husband was holding me while my back was arched and I was in such extreme agony that I was screaming. This is when my rockstar nurse came to the rescue. She could tell that I was obviously not okay and that my husband was getting really frustrated and upset that I was in such pain, so she sat him down and held me, talking me through the procedure, helping me breathe, and helping me round my back. I am truly SO grateful for the care we received, because this nurse helped me so much in a moment of such fear and I will always remember her impact on us.

After the epidural, my pain went away completely and I could only feel pressure sometimes, so we spent some time just relaxing, trying to rest, and we called a couple of family members to keep them updated. It was a nice time to sit with my husband and really reflect on what was happening. I was ultimately terrified, wondering if this was all happening too early, wondering if our babies would be okay, but at the same time I was SO excited to finally find out who these little ones inside of me were, what they looked like, what they would be like. It was such a mix of emotions.

The hospital was busy that night with lots of births, so we waited quite a while as we needed to give birth in the operating room instead of our labour room that we were checked into (again, because of the high risk that our pregnancy was deemed and the risk for C-section) and because we needed to have quite a lot of hands on deck since the babies would be early and would probably need extra care, and since there were two of them.

At this point in time, they dimmed our lights, told us to try to sleep and get some rest, but I was SO restless, just flooded with emotion. I was PRAYING that things would go well, that our babies would be healthy, that there wouldn’t be any complications, that I would be able to deliver vaginally, that the babies would be safe.

I also should note that my water NEVER broke. My OB had checked me at this stage and said that water was BULGING, but never broke and they ended up having to break it, or them. With di-di twins, I had 2 sacs, so 2 waters.

Finallllly at around 1am, they brought me into the operating room and got everything all set and ready to go! My OB had prepared me by saying the operating room will be filled with people, there will be a lot going on ect. But I don’t really think you can ever be that prepared for an event like this. When I got rolled into the OR, it was SO bright and SO cold and there were SOOO many people. I was quite overwhelmed, but the second that we were ready to start pushing, I felt like it all went away. I wasn’t cold anymore, actually I was boiling hot from pushing for so long, I didn’t even notice all of the people and commotion. All I focused on what my OB and nurses and husband telling me what to do and when to do it.

I pushed for quite a while once they broke my waters and it took me a few pushes to really get the hang of it, where to push from, how to breathe while pushing. I remember looking up at the clock and thinking okay, its been an hour of pushing, the babies must be coming any minute. And then another hour passed and there was no baby yet.

At this point, I was feeling SO exhausted, SO hot, I felt like I could pass out. Every time I pushed, I felt like my eyes would pop out of my head. My contractions were long but not strong, they were weakening. So for every contraction, I was pushing for 10 seconds, taking one deep breath in, pushing for another 10 seconds, and doing this 3 times each contraction. I remember after about 3 hours of pushing, I looked at my husband and said “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” He was so encouraging, but I knew my contractions were continuing to weaken and I did not feel that I had any energy left in me to give. I looked at my OB and she said to me, would you like me to to help a little bit and make a small cut? In my heart, I knew that I needed some type of assistance and that the other option was to have a C-section after 3 hours of pushing, which I wanted to avoid if possible. So I moved forward with the episiotomy.

Here come the babies!

Shortly after the episiotomy, I had a few more big pushes and at 5:20 am, Twin A was born! The OB held him up and I could see the baby’s face. Mike looked at me and said “it’s a boy!” and my heart was SO full. I felt immense relief and happiness. He started to cry which I was so thankful to hear and I was a little worried because his head was SO bruised and dented since he was sunny-side up and stuck for so long!

They placed the baby on me, and Mike cut his cord, and a Special Care Nursery nurse came and took him because he was in need of some extra care. Since they came at 33+5, their lungs were not completely developed, so they needed CPAP and they were also hooked up to monitors and an IV and a feeding tube.

I was so terrified and wanted to hold my baby for longer, but I knew that he was in the best care possible, and I knew that I still had work to do. The next baby needed to come out too!

The OB looked at us and asked, “does he have a name?” and we had 1 top baby boy name so we both said at the same time, “Oscar!” Then I looked at Mike and asked him to go and see how Oscar was doing. I didn’t want our baby to be alone and I wanted to know that he was okay. So Mike went to go and be with Oscar for a couple of minutes to make sure that he was alright and to see our precious little baby boy.

I was then ready to push again. Once the contraction started, I pushed with all of my might. What had just seemed like the most difficult thing in the world to me, actually felt incredible. I felt SO empowered after giving birth to our Oscar and that adrenaline made me feel like I was SUPER WOMAN! I felt like I could do anything. I gave the next few pushes my all and 17 minutes after Oscar entered the world, Baby B was born.

When his head was starting to make its way out, my OB said, “Ariana, the baby’s almost here. Reach down and you’ll feel him!” so I reached down and I grabbed our baby and pulled him out! I honestly felt like I was the strongest person in the entire world. Like I truly had just done the most incredible thing I had ever done in my life. This magical feeling like I was super woman just took over as I pulled Baby B up to my chest.

He had his mouth open as if he was trying to cry, but I didn’t hear any noise. I kept saying “is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay?” and I remember not hearing anyone answer me. They quickly got Mike to cut the cord and they took Baby B over to get the care he needed. He then cried and I was so thankful to hear that!

We didn’t quite have a name for our second baby, since we were only really sure of one boy and one girl name. The doctor stitched me up and they brought Mike and myself back to our room where we anxiously waited to see our baby boys.

When we were finally able to see them, we were brought to the Special Care Nursery of our hospital where our boys were. They were both in separate areas, and both were hooked up to C-PAP machines for their lungs/breathing, they had IVs and a whole bunch of monitors and cords attached to them. My heart broke and melted all at the same time. I was so excited to finally meet our baby boys, but devastated that it wasn’t the way I had imagined it. That I could barely see their faces because of the machines attached to them.

I reached out my finger to touch their little fragile hands and it was like everything in the entire world stopped, nothing mattered anymore, and I was stuck in time, in this perfectly imperfect moment with my new children.

The first month of the babies lives was a roller coaster of emotions for us. So many incredible miracles and so many devastating situations. I’ll leave that all for another blog post and leave you all in the moment of pure bliss that I felt, finally holding the little beings that I had carried for 33 weeks.