Birth Trauma

*Photo by @Samblayphotography

I was always scared to say those words.

Birth Trauma.

Like since I have babies who are now healthy, that I surely can’t call it trauma.

But then moments like last week happen. Where I feel something I haven’t felt before, or get nervous, or a trigger happens and all of a sudden I’m brought back to all of the fears and feelings I experienced during the scariest month of my life.

And that’s when I realize, it surely was trauma.

I have flash backs to those moments, to those feelings, to those smells. Many things can trigger those feelings. But especially being pregnant again. Every time something feels “off” I immediately worry that the same thing will happen. That I will give birth premature, that something will go wrong.

And then I remember to be mindful. To know that my body was made for this. And that I didn’t do anything wrong last time. There was no fault, there was just what happened.

As soon as I tell myself those things, I know that I can focus on the moment, advocate for the help and support I need, and listen to my body and my baby.

Trauma works in odd ways and comes up sometimes when we least expect it and it’s okay to feel those feelings.

Be gracious to yourself, do something for yourself, show yourself love, and know that you are not alone.